created a bp-custom.php and put it in wp-content/plugins
added this within php tags
// Custom Buddypress Stuff
// Custom Buddypress slugs
define( ‘BP_ACTIVATION_SLUG’, ‘activate’ );
define( ‘BP_ACTIVITY_SLUG’, ‘activity’ );
define( ‘BP_BLOGS_SLUG’, ‘shops’ );
define( ‘BP_FORUMS_SLUG’, ‘discussions’ );
define( ‘BP_FRIENDS_SLUG’, ‘friends’ );
define( ‘BP_GROUPS_SLUG’, ‘groups’ );
define( ‘BP_MEMBERS_SLUG’, ‘members’ );
define( ‘BP_MESSAGES_SLUG’, ‘messages’ );
define( ‘BP_REGISTER_SLUG’, ‘register’ );
define( ‘BP_SEARCH_SLUG’, ‘search’ );
define( ‘BP_SETTINGS_SLUG’, ‘settings’ );
define( ‘BP_XPROFILE_SLUG’, ‘profile’ );
still no good