@27Surf
Your frustration is understandable, especially since Modularity Lite is not a Buddypress-ready theme.
Have you tried contacting the theme author for help?
Have you been using the Buddypress Template Pack to modify your theme’s templates for Buddypress?
You can also try other, easier to modify themes that are Buddypress-ready.
I’ve put one together called BuddyLite that has a few one-click options like one or two sidebars, a full-page template (no sidebars), and more. http://buddylite.com/buddylite-basic/
There’s also a premium version – BuddyBuilder – with over 100 options so you can customize the heck out of it! http://buddylite.com/buddybuilder/
im really just looking to find out where the code for the template is so i can switch to full width rather than default