It had to do with a rule in the .htaccess
ExpiresByType text/html A3600
Tells the browser to cache the page for 1 hour, well it caches the non logged in page so after log in when you go back to it the browser gives the cached version.
The reason it was so hard to figure out has to do with my hosting setup. I have my main site hosted then my buddypress site is an addon domain so lives in a folder /addondomain
Well the .htaccess files are recursive so the rule ExpiresByType text/html A3600 was set by W3 Total Cache, a plugin I use on my main website living in Public_html caused the rule to be applied to the add on domain pages.
