@careythegreen
Unless you have introduced some custom code then there is a link in the toolbar just like the one that appears on buddypress.org. Hover over howdy USERNAME, profile/edit. This is pretty standard so it should be there. If you want to add a a direct link to save confusion then use this code in your header.php:
http://pastebin.com/Eg2HCKrM
wrap it in a div and style as you wish!
Thanks @bphelp – that gets me to the profile… but I have two issues still.
1. The @name thing (in my case @thelords) is not available to modify.
2. When some of my users go to that edit option, it does not take them to the profile… it takes them to the “welcome” page.
OK @bphelp – I’ve discovered some of my own answers. I see that the @name is the user name they chose and cannot be changed. And… I just noticed the grey area of options below the standard WP options, which of course are the options for buddypress. So… poking around long enough I’ve answered my own questions.