thanks for your reply, i changed the theme to twentytwelve and deactivated all the BP plugins,
the update workd, and the site doesnt give an error anymore and stays “online”.
i changed the theme back to BP columns and activated al the BP plugins and the site still works.
aldo it changed some code in my header.php, so i had to replace header.php from the previous version to correct that.
But now i find out that the widgets control panel has changed,
normally you have a field of selectable widgets and on the right you can choose where to “drag and drop” the widget. like “left side bar” or “right sidebar”.
Now the whole right side of the widget control pannel has disappeared,
and I cant select and/or drag the widgets and the bar on the right side where to put them, is completely gone.
The button on the top “screensettings” next to the help button is also not working anymore.