BuddyPress.org

You need to narrow down the possible sources of the issue.
Have you tried in with a WP theme like 2016 ?
Do you have the same issue with avatars on your member profile screen?
Have you checked your browser’s javascript console for errors? This is a good place to check for conflicts with other plugins.

if I do it on the User Screen through the Admin page it works fine…but my Users won’t have that option.

That tells you there is something happening on the front end.
I’ll bet it will work if you deactivate any ‘lazy’ loader plugin or code. ( jetpack ? )
And / or any ‘minify’ plugin or code that is affecting javascript.

I am using a theme now that is tested with BuddyPress

Sez who? The theme creators? Always check by momentarily switching to a WP theme like 2016.