I’m also new to BP, and i also experienced it as a chaotic useless mess. But now, i get the logic. BP is not a ready to use tool. It depends on what you need for your site. It has some possibilities that “may” be handy for your site. If you install all of it’s components without really thinking before…it will overwhelm you. Install it, try things out, one at the time. Think how it can improve your site ‘or not’. Maybe you’re better of with a standard forum.