BuddyPress.org

Does the groups mean users, or disscusions? I want to set this up right, and kinda want it like i had stuff setup when i was using phpbb, where it was based on permissions, and roles, and you had certain, categories and subforums…..

Permissions are automatically assigned. Group admins / mods can edit forum posts. Group members can’t.

You cannot setup sub-forums and categories with BuddyPress’ internal forums. Think Facebook’s group and page forums.

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also, how would i create themes for both? or where could i get themes for both that look similiar?

You cannot change the theme for BuddyPress’ internal forums. BuddyPress will use the BP theme you’re using to style your forums. However, if you want to style the forums differently, you’ll have to edit your BP theme. Try creating a child theme of the default and modifying the /forums/ and /groups/single/forum/ templates to your liking.

If you’re talking about a theme for the external version of bbPress, try this:
https://bbpress.org/forums/topic/buddypress-default-theme-for-bbpress-1