BuddyPress.org

Does that mean I have to keep my mouth shut about the crappy patched together membership management mess that will now become the foundation of my project?

Of course not, that wasn’t my point. The registration functionality in WPMU is quite restrictive and cumbersome right now. That will improve though. If you’re concerned about this, then don’t consider BuddyPress as we’re only on version 1.0.