Re: help with notifications (messages, friend requests, etc.)
I am not sure in which sidebar you want to implement this.
If you are talking about blog sidebar in default BP theme.
1. Open sidebar.php from wp-content/themes/bphome/
2. Replace all content with following code
<div id="sidebar">
<?php if ( !function_exists('dynamic_sidebar')
|| !dynamic_sidebar('blog-sidebar') ) : ?>
<div class="widget-error">
<?php _e( 'Please log in and add widgets to this column.', 'buddypress' ) ?> <a href="<?php echo get_option('siteurl') ?>/wp-admin/widgets.php?s=&show=&sidebar=sidebar-4"><?php _e( 'Add Widgets', 'buddypress' ) ?></a>
</div>
<?php endif; ?>
<?php bp_adminbar_notifications_menu(); ?>
</div>
3. Check by clicking on any post from main blog.