BuddyPress.org

I’m not sure how those plugins in particular work, but here’s a solution that worked for me with the plugin More Privacy Options: https://buddypress.org/forums/topic/more-privacy-options-private-blogs-and-activity-streams

The same principle can probably be applied to your case. Figure out how your plugins are recording fine-grained privacy options, and then adjust the code at the above link to match.