BuddyPress.org

thanks for your advice and replies
my fear re being blacklisted was a bit exaggerated, I have checked lost lists and our domain/ip is OK (only one place has one blacklisted)

in April overall for every 5 users, 1 did not activate the account
I am sure at least half of them are not spammers, I had a look at their email addresses,
so, I can only guess, users are not computer savvy.. and did not look at their junk email box for activation email etc..
I have change the form, so it tells them now to check junk folders. maybe this will help!

something else occurred to me
where do I change the default email address the activations email are sent from?
maybe this will help and emails won’t land in spam folders..

kind regards
Kris