BuddyPress.org

Adding a link – Have a look at this thread: https://buddypress.org/community/groups/how-to-and-troubleshooting/forum/topic/how-to-moverelocate-the-links-in-the-admin-bars-my-account-individuallyseparately-to-the-sidebar/

Your other issues are CSS rather than BuddyPress related. Check the admin bar CSS settings in the different themes you are using for your blogs. If you want them to look the same, they will have to have the same settings.