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@faceteletv

I’m trying to keep this conversation within topic here where you originally mentioned it, rather than wild in the activity stream.

I’ve managed to get forums working on a 1and1 shared hosting…

I don’t think any of the wp-config.php or .htaccess or php.ini tricks for increasing memory work for 1and1 shared hosting. Even if wordpress tells you it has more, it will still behave as if it hasn’t…

As ray said, you should disable as many plugins as possible at least till the forums are enabled. I already mentioned what I had done about plugins here

To find out how much memory a plugin or theme is using I use https://wordpress.org/extend/plugins/wp-system-health/.

You appear to be using buddypress social theme – which I haven’t tried but it has lots of options and may use lots of memory. With limited memory it would be better to use a simple child theme of buddypress default and customise it.